101 things I will teach my daughters

1. Chocolate is only a temporary fix

2. Celebrate small achievements 

3. Eat the extra slice of pizza

4. Seek beauty in all things

5. Try with all your might to keep in contact with far-away friends

6. Walk with your head up

7. Never bite your nails

8. Learn from your mistakes

9. It's okay to cry

10. Drink tea

11. Wear perfume, but never too much

12. Laugh until you can't breathe with your friends

13. Exercise to be strong and healthy

14. There is no shame in hoping for love

15. Read the books I recommend to you. They just might change your life

16. Listen to classical music occasionally

17. Carbs are not the enemy

18. Take baths

19. You are capable of much more than you realize

20. Don't smile if you don't mean it

21. I am always, always listening

22. Travel

23. Come home dirty, tired, and with a good story

24. Well-fitting and modest is ALWAYS more attractive than too small and tight

25. Learn how to apply eyeliner properly

26. Baking is very therapeutic

27. Be gentle with your skin

28. There is no substitute for fresh air

29. Salad is never tastier than pasta

30. Learn to love vegetables

31. People will let you down

32. But God will NEVER let you down

33. Give thoughtful gifts

34. If it's worth fighting for, fight fiercely

35. Take pictures, but not too many

36. Chocolate ice cream, however, might just be a permanent fix

37. Learn to dance in the rain

38. It's okay to be rendered useless when you have a book hangover

39. Remember the past and learn from it

40. Your good friend knows all your stories, but a best friend helped you write them

41. "To defeat the darkness out there, you must first defeat the darkness in yourself"

42. Listen to sad songs when you're sad. It helps

43. Get lost

44. Make a bucket list and check things off it

45. Avoid ugly footwear at all costs

46. Don't be late in writing thank-you cards

47. Being flexible is great for stress relief and general well-being

48. Take the last piece

49. Learn how to cook delicious food

50. It's okay if you don't want to go to college, really

51. Learn to be resourceful

52. Make a big deal out of birthdays

53. Sometimes you just need to watch a sad movie 

54. Do something that scares you

55. Learn how to swim well

56. Don't wear things you hate wearing

57. Stay organized

58. A smile always wins

59. It hurt because it mattered

60. The power of prayer will never leave you even in the darkest of times

61. You are of great worth and God has a plan for your life

62. You cannot exalt God and yourself at the same time

63. Find the library first thing

64. Don't lose your sense of wonder

65. Find joy in the simplest, most mundane things

66. Set high standards

67. Avoid ill-fitting pants

68. Things we lose have a way of coming back to us in the end

69. It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live

70. Find a devotional and stick to it, along with daily Bible reading

71. God shines through the cracks of broken people

72. A man without God is a man you can live without

73. Don't let others despise you for your youth

74. All great changes are preceded by chaos

75. If today was the worst day ever, then tomorrow can't be worse than that

76. Music is a gift that can be enjoyed all throughout life

77. Socks and hats make a huge difference when you're trying to keep warm

78. Be honest, always

79. Learn how to do things yourself

80. $100 is not a lot of money in the adult world

81. Forgive and let go

82. It's okay if you don't like coffee

83. Eighteen isn't a magic number or anything

84. Be kind to yourself

85. Ironing is a great skill which is far too often taken for granted

86. Don't let the world make you hard

87. Think before you speak

88. Dark chocolate may be healthier, but milk chocolate is just plain delicious

89. Books are always better than the internet

90. Read a lot

91. Children have the answers

92. Peppermint oil cures headaches

93. Drinking milk eases cramps

94. Build up your library and always have a stack of things to read

95. It's okay to not like pink

96. Take a stand for what is right

97. Love wins

98. Learn to laugh at yourself

99. Crying during a sad movie is a great release

100. Collect moments, not things

101. The master has failed more times than the beginner has even tried

Modesty Survey

This survey was created a few years ago by Alex and Brett Harris, the authors of "Do Hard Things".  It includes a petition signed my hundreds of guys, and a huge poll with many questions about what is and isn't modest according to guys.  It's REALLY helpful and insightful, and very practical.  I don't think any of them bought the "dress like a nun" idea.  You can still be up to date, feminine and modest!  So here is the link, I hope you enjoy!

http://www.therebelution.com/modestysurvey/

The power of our words

Words.  Words are such strong tools we use to articulate our thoughts and ideas.  And yet, some take little thought into just how meaningful words are. 

“Let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.”

-1 Peter 3:4

This post is directed towards young ladies, but all can glean from the wisdom found in Proverbs and other books of the Bible that express how we are to speak in a God-honoring way.  I have included many verses and a few quotes that talk about selfless, thoughtful speech and have been truly convicted of the words that I choose.  Lately, as I was going through Proverbs, the many verses about the wise and the fool and the way they converse caught my attention. 

“The wise of heart will receive commandments, but a babbling fool will come to ruin.”

-Proverbs 10:8

“She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.”

-Proverbs 31:26

Many of us hear the verses that talk about a gentle and quiet spirit, and being meek and mild, etc. etc., but few take them to heart.  Some say “well, that’s just not my personality”.  I am of the school of thought that all (included me!) could improve the way we articulate our thoughts, to become more selfless and Christ-honoring.  But, as I am just a girl who is learning all this afresh, I can only point you to Scripture and older, Godly examples for the point I’m making.

“Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt.”

-Colossians 4:6

“On the lips of him who has understanding, wisdom is found, but a rod is for the back of him who lacks sense.”

-Proverbs 10:13

The way we speak not only attracts us to a certain group of people, but it gives people an idea on how we want to be treated.  If we speak in a gracious, interesting and thoughtful manner, we will find ourselves in conversations that are more profitable than an average, shallow discussions.  The louder, funnier and more shallow way of speaking will result in a crowd that will eventually become obnoxious and silly and may become irritating to the other people conversing around you.

“Once upon a time, nearly every young woman was trained in the art of gracious living.  She knew how to exemplify perfect etiquette in every situation…she knew how to speak eloquently in conversation…she knew how to sit up straight and listen intently when someone spoke to her…”

-Leslie Ludy, from “The Lost Art of True Beauty”

“When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.”

-Proverbs 10:19

Something that I recognized in many conversations I have observed (and, I admit, participated in) have included lengthily comments about others.  I believe that we have become deaf to the words of criticism and unkind joking that so often fills conversations.  It could be “oh, we passed this homeless person yesterday, and he looked, you know, a little ‘off’ if you know what I mean.” (accompanied by a crazed look, perhaps), or a comment like “so-and-so can just be so annoying, I can’t stand him/her…” etc.  Whether we realize it or not, it’s wrong to be so needlessly negative or amused about certain qualities in others.

“Whoever belittles his neighbor lacks sense, but a man of understanding remains silent.”

-Proverbs 11:12

“Do not allow yourself in the habit of joking with your companions.  This tends to cultivate severe sarcasm, which is a bad habit of the tongue.  And, if you indulge in it, your strokes will be too keen for your companions to bear; and you will lose their friendship.”

-Harvey Newcomb, from “How to Be a Lady”, written in 1846

Encouragement is very important; reminding others of their worth and purpose in life can be the most uplifting and honoring words that can be said.  It boosts the spirit of those struggling, and is also beneficial in building other’s trust.  But the opposite—that is, rash, harsh or rude words do just the opposite.  They tear down, destroy and discourage those to whom you are speaking.  Even those who appear strong find reckless words hurtful.  We must try to be gracious and kind to all we speak to, and whom we speak about.

“There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”

-Proverbs 12:18

“Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad.”

-Proverbs 12:25

Having a fun, outgoing personality is great, but if it’s hard to settle down and have a conversation based on something other than humor or shallow talk, it can be a problem.  Leslie Ludy expresses this well in her book “The Lost Art of True Beauty”:

 “I believe it is possible to have a friendly, outgoing personality and still honor God with a gentle, quiet, selfless spirit.  But I’ve seen many Christ-professing young women who go beyond merely being friendly and bubbly to becoming center stage in every social situation.  They are skilled at making sure all eyes are upon them.  And they overpower anyone who has a more quiet personality, often causing others to be overlooked or ignored.  They assume ‘This is just the way I am; it’s the way God made me.  I can’t help my personality.’  But their flesh has taken control.  It’s not just their personality; it’s their personality being controlled by sin.”

-Leslie Ludy, from “The Lost Art of True Beauty”

 “A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.”

-Proverbs 15:4

Beautiful speech is pleasing to the ear and enjoyed by all.  But it doesn’t mean we have to go overboard with old-fashioned phrases or words with 7-plus syllables!  Tactful dialogue can be attained with self-control and practice.

“It’s not necessary to sound like a British aristocrat or a flowery, old-fashioned poet to excel at the art of elegant speech.”

-Leslie Ludy

“Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.”

-Proverbs 16:24

Sarcastic and jokey language is a sorry affair to those who are the victim.  Even if the target is not present, imagine if they were.  How would they feel if they knew they were being battered in this manner?  Even under a playful spirit, the root of the words is unkindness and insensitivity.

“Whoever mocks the poor insults his Maker; he who is glad at calamity will not go unpunished.”

-Proverbs 17:5

“A talkative girl will tell all she knows, and all she can remember that she has ever heard anybody say, to every one she meets.  She will take up the time, and occupy the attention of others, in relating long, humdrum stories about matters and things which nobody care to hear.  You wait with impatience to hear the end of the story, that you may have a little quiet; but her tongue never stops, but, like the clapper of a mill, keeps up its incessant clack.  Such a habit is very disagreeable to others, and makes one appear to great disadvantage.”

-Harvey Newcomb, from “How to Be a Lady”, written in 1846

In conclusion, I cannot say how important it is to measure our words.  “The tongue can encourage a friend; the tongue can cause a friendship to end.”  I will continue to try my best to make sure that my speech is pleasing to the Lord, and I pray this message has touched your hearts as well.  God bless you!

“Do you see a man who is hasty in his words?  There is more hope for a fool than for him.”

-Proverbs 29:20

Friendship and milestones

“A man of many companions may come to a ruin, but there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother.”

~Proverbs 18:24

August 2011

“Let us not forget the dreams we share,

Forever like sisters we care.

You’ll always be a friend to me,

And that’s the way it’s meant to be.”

~Anonymous

July 2012

“Its so hard to find the perfect breeze,

One blowing none too hard nor soft,

Carrying a scent of wild flowers,

And moving clouds about aloft.

Yet no perfection’s so hard to find

As that which you extend

And none I’ll ever treasure more,

Than to simply be your friend.”

~Unknown

A photo shoot with my beautiful sisters...

Lovely little Libbey

Sweet Delaney

(I had no idea what to caption this...any ideas?)

Looking up!

With her beloved Jenny

Daydreaming

This is my favorite :)

Delaney...being herself

Since we are spending the week in Pismo Beach, I will be sure to post pictures of that soon!